Dear Emily,
I’m in my mid-20s, at the stage of adulthood where a lot of my friends have started to move away or get into serious relationships. I want to develop more close, meaningful friendships with people who actively want to know me — like, really know me.
I have no problem meeting people I can envision myself becoming friends with. I’m a social, outgoing person who’s always up to something — partly because I have a cool job that has cool perks. But while it’s fun to have this sprawling network of casual connections — it keeps me busy — I sometimes worry that people just treat me like a networking opportunity. A couple of times people I’ve wanted to be friends with have crudely asked if I could get them into x or y event, which makes me feel embarrassed for approaching them earnestly. My favorite things about myself — my thoughtfulness and generosity — have come to feel like liabilities. But I also don’t want to be cynical or shut down possible connections. What do I do?
