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• “Deport them all” doesn’t work.
• Questions on Trump’s bombing lurk.
• White House math looks berserk.
• Apartments built with many a perk.

“Alligator Alcatraz” sounds like the name of a low-budget horror movie from the early 2000s that you’d find in the $5 DVD bin at Walmart. It has a secret cult following on Letterboxd because it’s so bad, it’s camp. And the movie poster looks like this:

Illustration: Jessica Karl, Canva

And yet Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier’s “Alligator Alcatraz” is no scrappy Hollywood production: It’s his real-life proposal to turn an abandoned airport in the heart of the Florida Everglades into a “one-stop shop to carry out President Trump’s mass deportation agenda.” In this nightmarish video, he says the surrounding swampland is teeming with alligators and pythons, making it the perfect spot for a temporary detention facility because there’s “nowhere to go, nowhere to hide.”

Gators aside, Mary Ellen Klas says the dehumanizing plan lacks teeth: “As a policy, building a tent city in a fragile swamp during hurricane season doesn’t make much sense, but Uthmeier needed a publicity stunt. The little-known politician has held the job for six months and is facing a serious election challenge from Democratic former state Senator Jose Javier Rodriguez.” Moreover, she says “Alcatraz” is a misnomer: “Unlike the former maximum-security prison on Alcatraz Island in San Francisco Bay, Florida’s ‘Alcatraz’ won’t be housing convicts. In fact, no one knows if it’ll be housing anyone who has ever been charged with a crime.”

In order to meet the Trump administration’s steep deportation quotas, ICE has been raiding construction sites, workplaces and courthouses to round up unauthorized immigrants, regardless of criminal status. Although the brazen strategy has been met with much public outcry, the Bloomberg editorial board says Trump’s efforts have barely budged the deportation data.

What’s more, most people living in the US don’t even want to deport them: “A new Pew Charitable Trust poll shows that 65% of Americans support having undocumented immigrants stay legally if certain requirements are met,” writes Patricia Lopez.

In reality, all the “mass deportation” plan has done is generate mass amounts of hysteria. “As the president himself has conceded, unauthorized migrants — like it or not — are deeply integrated into the US economy,” the editors write. “It would be far better — and more popular — to focus on criminals and threats to national security.”

Centering immigration policy on catching convicts is nothing new: The Obama administration — which deported way more immigrants than Trump did in his first term — famously went after “felons, not families.” I’d take that slogan over “Alligator Alcatraz” any day.

Here’s a question: Does this photo look like it was taken at the most professional news conference you have ever seen?

Photographer: Andrew Harnik/Getty Images North America

Although it’s just one image, I think we can all agree Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth’s facial expression and body language are not textbook examples of professionalism. And yet President Trump claimed it was “one of the greatest, most professional, and most ‘confirming’ news conferences” he’s ever seen. A news conference, mind you, where Hegseth could be seen lashing out at reporters and fawning over the “most complex and secretive military operation in history.”

Was it successful, though? That seems to be the question on everyone’s mind after a leaked intelligence report from the Pentagon revealed the bombing may have only set back Iran’s nuclear program by months. Regardless of that report’s merit, Andreas Kluth says “it’s far too early to assess the wisdom of Operation Midnight Hammer — that is, whether it will make the world safer.”

In the meantime, we can ask a different question: Was it legal? Andreas says no, in so many words. Unlike the presidents that came before him, Trump didn’t even try to contact Congress or the UN Security Council before embarking on his campaign. “At worst, Midnight Hammer becomes another precedent for an increasingly lawless and anarchic world,” he writes. “At best, Trump now stops bombing, forces Israel to observe the ceasefire and resumes negotiations with Iran that will permanently remove the threat of its nuclearization.”

Here’s some math that doesn’t add up. Over the next decade, the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office estimates the Big Beautiful Bill would add $2.42 trillion to US budget deficits and raise the debt-to-GDP ratio from 97% to 117%. The White House’s Council of Economic Advisers, meanwhile, claims the bill will magically shrink deficits by $8.53 trillion and lower the debt-to-GDP ratio to 94%.

Robert Burgess finds the latter analysis to be complete “GIGO” — garbage in, garbage out. “All presidential administrations try to present their economic policies in the best possible light,” he explains. But the White House’s council takes cherry-picking to a new level: “If it truly believed in the longer-term benefits of the bill, there would be no reason to gaslight the American public with numbers that have no probability of being achieved.” Read the whole thing in all its gaslighting glory.

Justin Fox is, without question, Bloomberg Opinion’s Unofficial Apartment Guy. He’s written about them so often over the years — here, here, here — that I wouldn’t be surprised if he had nightmares about Zillow listings. But his latest dispatch on the boom in one-bedroom apartments may be the most fascinating yet. “A quarter century ago, one-bedroom units and studios made up only 32% of new multifamily units constructed. Since 2020, it’s been more than 50%, with three-bedroom apartments down to about one-tenth of new units,” he writes. He offers several possible reasons for the shift, including building code changes and a slowdown in family formation.

Just because these units are smaller in size doesn’t mean they don’t carry big perks. “My interpretation is that while the apartments being constructed today have fewer bedrooms than those of past apartment-building booms, they’re not necessarily lower-rent (in both the metaphorical and literal senses). In-unit washers and dryers, for example, are more prevalent than they used to be,” Justin writes. As a person who still lugs my laundry two-and-a-half blocks down the street, I wish I had laundry in my building — the basement would do!! — but alas, that remains an elusive luxury in Manhattan.

Bonus Bob the Builder Reading:

• Mind the time bombs in the Labour government’s $1 trillion building binge to remake Britain. — Matthew Brooker
• Rooftop solar needs a new pitch: Helping that same grid cope with the demands of the artificial intelligence boom. — Liam Denning

Is this trade war just performance art? — Daniel Moss

The White House puts Pakistan’s elite back on top. — Mihir Sharma

NATO leaders’ price for supporting Ukraine? Their self-respect. — Max Hastings

The coming age of AI is not looking good for book authors. — Dave Lee

Airline loyalty programs are changing, much to my chagrin. — Marc Rubinstein

The data-driven economy is changing shareholder capitalism. — Allison Schrager

Scott Bessent squashes the revenge tax.

Anna Wintour gives up her daily duties at Vogue.

TikTok and Instagram wade into TV Apps.

Chile cleans up fast-fashion waste.

The Hamptons sue-fest is in full swing.

Hollywood is having a boy-mom moment.

Rome’s dolphins are fighting each other.

A search for the world’s best durian.

Notes: Please send fallen fruit and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net.

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