Go beyond holidays and birthdays by delighting your loved ones when they least expect it. Say, if they freeze their eggs? Plus, the best gifts for Gen Z and what to give a hobbyist.
Last summer, I schlepped to my friend Madi’s apartment carrying a tote bag crammed with delicate pressed paper, soft pink ribbon, gold washi tape, and all manner of stickers. Madi and I were on a mission: to craft a present for our friend Courtney, who was preparing to freeze her eggs. Egg-freezing is not exactly a traditional gift-giving occasion. There wasn’t an egg party (although that’s a really good idea — write that down), and Courtney didn’t register for egg-freezing gifts (again, would have been brilliant). But in more than a decade of friendship, Courtney has celebrated Madi and me over and over again: ordering custom confetti to mark our engagements, stuffing gift bags for our bachelorette parties, and even showing up with a pastry-shaped Jellycat after I finished baking every recipe in a cookbook. This occasion certainly felt just as momentous, if not more so, than those. And she was going to need our help getting through 12 days of self-administered shots. What to gift her, though, was a puzzle. Freezer food seemed too dire; flowers too maudlin. Then Madi pitched a perfect plan: We give her 12 treats, one to open after each round of shots, like a wacky, very-much-out-of-season Advent calendar. Taking inspiration from my colleague, editor Catherine Kast, who is on the record as queen of DIY Advent calendars, I retrieved an empty, years-old one to repurpose. Then I went hunting for joyful, tiny treats to fit in each pocket: things like a baby Baggu in the strawberry print, delectable Swedish gummies (Madi did not let me get the egg-shaped ones — apparently too on the nose), glossy lip balms, sample-sized vials of perfume, scrunchies, and micro claw clips. If I were doing this again, I would toss in an adorable fruit-shaped bag charm, too. We tucked each prize into a pocket, taped floral-patterned paper over all the openings, and tied it with a rose-colored bow to finish. You don’t need big, celebratory life events to give your friends presents. Sometimes the littler moments — when they’re going through something difficult or facing a big change — can be the most meaningful times to show up with a treat. When writer Ivy Elrod’s sister was taking the bar, Ivy gave her a big, snack-y care package to fuel her, and “she ended up being the only lawyer with snacks in the exam.” (This Japanese snack box is a particular favorite of my gift-expert colleagues.) I love the idea of giving a friend who is finalizing a divorce something celebratory, as long as it feels appropriate — writer Alex Aciman once delighted a recently divorced friend with these vibrant, handblown champagne flutes. And on a sillier note, after newsletters editor Haley Jo Lewis’ boyfriend finished putting together their home office, he unveiled it with a mini inflatable tube man on her desk — a sorry-for-the-house-being-a-wreck present. And as for Courtney, after the first few days, she was a total pro at handling the needles, breezily jabbing herself after breakfast or on the couch, mid-Love Island episode. But still she sent pictures of her prizes afterward, grinning, the animal-shaped ice packs that she stuck to her abdomen after each prick peeking out above her waistband. “Your support was the actual gift, obviously,” Courtney said. “But the calendar was a small reminder of it every day.” Which is, in my opinion, exactly how a gift should feel — no matter the occasion.
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My wife is turning 61. She works as paralegal, commutes by train to work, and enjoys art, bright colors, photography, and making mosaic art. She loves Norwegian sweaters, snow, and sitting on the shore by a freshwater lake in the summer. And she loves gardening, trees, home decorating, and painting. — A.M. From gifting expert Samantha Schoech: First, your wife and I would definitely be friends. Second, all her interests make her pretty easy to shop for. Take a look around at the supplies and equipment she has — whether for art, gardening, or enjoying the outdoors — that could use a good upgrade. Does she need a new easel for plein air painting? A new set of paints? My mom is a painter, and she loves this nearly 100-year-old color combination manual by Japanese painter Sanzo Wadaon; it’s helpful for both artists and decorators. Could she use a carryall for gardening tools or a fancy and effortless retractable hose? What about a breezy, colorful cotton kaftan coverup for lakeside lounging? (If I could live in one of these I would.) And, finally, because you mention she likes photography, there is the reissue of this iconic and collectible 1999 book of portraits of women in a two-book set with a completely new collection of photos with essays by Gloria Steinem and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. (Caveat: It’s not officially out until November 4 of this year.) Happy birthday to her!
Have someone who’s impossible to shop for? Submit your question here. One last gift (for you): This on-sale jar of Italian sour marasca cherries have a beautiful, complex sweet-tart flavor — excellent as a garnish in a Manhattan or Pink Lady. Was this email kindly forwarded to you? Sign up here to get this newsletter in your inbox.
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