| Dear Carolyn: I’ve been married for 29 years, and we have two adult children, a daughter, 27, and a son, 23. Both are college graduates. My daughter has a bachelor’s in dance and biochemistry, and my husband’s hope since she was very young is that she become a physician. He has always pushed and encouraged her to do so. When she was 23, she decided she wanted to pursue dance more and moved to New York City to do some service work and projects for her dance career. She has now lived there four years. Over this time, my husband has been very difficult about this situation, to the point of going through periods of not really interacting or speaking with her. He refuses to visit her with me and did not come to some of her performances in the city, so I ended up going with other family. She is now in a relationship with a young man, and it has thrown my husband over the edge. I imagine he feels this may keep her there for good, and maybe now his hopes of her going to medical school are at zero. It’s like he’s throwing a temper tantrum, thinking he can manipulate her the worse he behaves. I’m to the point where I feel I need to leave him because it’s become difficult even to live together. He won’t let me mention her activities in conversation. Am I unreasonable for expecting some coming together on this? I understand that he can lovingly disagree with her, but he can still be her father. He’s acting like a child. — Dancing Alone | 
