Oh no – not more from Gregg Wallace...

Sigh. Just when I hoped we'd heard the last from the disgraced MasterChef presenter who was sacked in July, Gregg 'the egg' Wallace strikes again. 

This time, according to reports, he is planning to sue the BBC over a data protection claim – the case has been filed at the High Court, but no further details have been made public, so it's not entirely clear what it's all about. However, The Sun says that Wallace is requesting the release of more than 200 internal documents which he believes could exonerate him. He may also pursue a disability discrimination claim and has previously argued that the BBC failed to properly accommodate his autism (which I, as a neurodiverse person and mother of neurodiverse children, find particularly offensive – don't you?). 

What did Gregg Wallace actually do? If you can't remember: a report which looked into the behaviour of the former TV host upheld 45 allegations against him – including claims of inappropriate sexual language, being in a "state of undress" and an incident of unwelcome physical contact, plus making culturally insensitive or racist comments.

I've written (and alluded to) several times about the fact that I've had my own encounter with Wallace, the details of which I won't go into here. But what I will share – following last week's revelation about Queen Camilla "whacking a groper in the goolies" with a shoe after she was attacked on a train when she was 16 (and I know that the newsletter last week, unfortunately, had the wrong subject line on it due to a technical glitch – I am so sorry about that!) – is a heartfelt and emotional response from a reader, after I asked you to send in your experiences of being harassed by men, if you were comfortable to do so. 

This email from *Lyn left my heart in my mouth. I know it will affect you, too. 

"In terms of sexual harassment – and worse – I have several examples to draw on (and I’m only 45). When I was about nine, I was walking my dog near to my house and a man in a trench coat started to follow me. When I became aware of what he was doing, I started to walk faster and eventually run – but he started chasing me. Luckily, I outran him, made it home and told my mother, who was absolutely furious and went out to confront him, but she didn’t find him.

In my first term at university, a fellow student became friendly with me one night at the student union and he walked me home. He came into my room and started to want more than I did – so I pushed him off me, but he tried to pin me to the bed. I managed to get away, but was embarrassed by what had happened – so just hung around in another student’s room until the guy decided to leave the building. I was very inexperienced at the time and didn’t know how to handle the situation. I did tell someone I thought I could trust, but it got back to the guy in question that I was going around telling people he had raped me – which I categorically didn’t say – so some people started to ostracise me for it. In the end, I had to move out of my halls of residence because the environment became too unpleasant.

Then, in around 2016 at work, I started a new role and I met an older male colleague who made me feel uncomfortable with his comments about my appearance. I was wearing a short summer dress and he was walking behind me on our way to a meeting – and he made a comment to another male colleague about how he was “enjoying the view”. The other colleague was shocked, but did nothing to challenge it. Later that same day, the inappropriate colleague recounted a story about how he and a drunken friend had exposed themselves to a group of teenage girls at a train station, once – he thought this was very funny.

Finally, I have just come out the other side of an emotionally and sexually abusive relationship with my ex-partner. I was raped and reported this to the police and whilst it was investigated, there “was insufficient evidence to prosecute”, so my ex got away with it."

I know these examples are shocking and hard to read, but that's because – well, they are. They're also exceedingly commonplace. Every single one of us has a story. And I continue to believe with my whole heart that in sharing them, we are doing our part to take our power back – and to create change. You can't fight what you can't see or don't hear. 

Thank you, every single one of you, who reads this newsletter. You can email me on victoria.richards@independent.co.uk (as ever, please mark the subject 'Independent Women' so I don't miss it!). 'Dear Vix' is all yours, over at dearvix@independent.co.uk. Have a restful week (I'm only just getting over a week of isolation with Covid – stay safe, everyone!)

*I always change names for anonymity – or use first names only. Your secrets are safe with me!

The Netflix documentary that made me terrified of my daughter's phone

This weekend, I watched a reality TV documentary so disturbing that I actually had to turn it off, because it was after dark and it started to make me feel spooked. When I tried again, in daylight, it was vividly relatable. And terrifying. 

If you haven't seen it yet, I'm talking about Unknown Number: The High School Catfish. It's on Netflix and (at the time of writing) has jumped to the top spot in the streaming service's global movie rankings and its second week in the top 10 – and I can see why.

It all centres around a 13-year-old girl, Lauryn Licari – and her then-boyfriend, Owen – who started to receive nasty (and sexually explicit) text messages from a number they didn't recognise, in October 2020. After a year's absence, the messages resume – and get steadily worse... increasing to physical threats and demands that Lauryn "kill herself", as many as 50 times a day. But the real bombshell (no spoilers!) is who is doing it...

As a parent of a teenage girl, I found it not only upsetting, but a clarion call for being increasingly mindful about the kind of groups our kids are members of on WhatsApp and Snapchat. It reaffirmed my determination to talk to her about appropriate language and behaviour – and to take threats like this extremely seriously. Thankfully (or not?) I've only had one experience of anything remotely like this: when she received a message telling her someone "hated her" and "wanted to beat her up". What did I do? I went straight to the perpetrator's parents – with screenshots.

Have you been in a situation like this? How did you handle it? Do you think I did the right/wrong thing? And do you have any advice? I'd love to know. 

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