Spolier alert. This is the best I have to offer. Those who have met me in person will attest to the fact that I’m much more sociable, engaged, and entertaining in this textual format than I am in in-person exchanges. I suffer from the Cyrano de Bergerac version of FOMO (Fear of Meeting Offline). So I could relate to this excerpt about a woman who was deeply disappointed during her first in-person date with someone with whom she had been texting with for weeks. “The man who greeted her inside the pub – polite, pleasant but oddly flat – felt like a stranger. Gone was the quickfire wit and playful rhythm she’d come to expect from their exchanges. Over pints he stumbled through small talk, checked his phone a little too often, and seemed to wilt under the pressure of her questions. ‘I felt like I was sitting opposite someone I’d never even spoken to,’ she says. ‘I tried to have the same sort of conversation as we’d been having online, but it was like, ‘Knock, knock, is anyone home?’” The woman might have wondered if there was a Cyrano behind the scenes who she’d actually been texting with. But in the modern world, where wordplay is the new foreplay, aspiring daters don’t need to employ the skills of a French poet and novelist (or even an alarmingly talented newsletter writer) to ghostwrite love letters and speeches. They can just get AI to do it. ‘I realized I’d been ChatGPT-ed into bed’: How ‘Chatfishing’ made finding love on dating apps even weirder. (If we do happen to meet in a social setting, please don’t bring this up. Or anything else. Do us both a favor and just quietly wait for the next edition.) 2Clipped Wing“As roaring machinery tore down one side of the White House, President Trump acknowledged on Wednesday that he was having the entire East Wing demolished to make way for his 90,000-square-foot ballroom, a striking expansion of a project that is remaking the profile of one of the nation’s most iconic buildings.” NYT (Gift Article): Trump Is Wasting No Time in Tearing Down the East Wing. (Reality is clear enough. We really didn’t need the metaphor.) 3The Fog of Warmongering“The shocking development comes as protesters gathered at the entrance to Coast Guard Island in Alameda on Thursday morning, where the federal forces were being deployed. At least two people were reported injured after federal forces used a flash bang device and pushed through protesters as they drove onto the island.” San Francisco was set to be the next city to face an unwanted and unnecessary invasion of National Guard and ICE raids. But through a combination of backchannel requests and very strong public statements, the moves appear to have been called off. San Francisco Mayor Daniel Lurie: “The president told me clearly that he was calling off any plans for a federal deployment in San Francisco. Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem reaffirmed that direction in our conversation this morning.” 4We’ll Leave the Neon Light On For You“The motel might seem like an ageless fixture of the American landscape, but in fact, this roadside mainstay didn’t exist before Dec. 12, 1925. That’s when Arthur and Alfred Heineman, two brothers with a successful Southern California architecture practice, opened the Milestone Mo-Tel, the first ‘motor hotel,’ in San Luis Obispo, roughly halfway between San Francisco and Los Angeles.” NYT (Gift Article) on the Neon Signs, Swimming Pools and American Dreams represented by 100 Years of the Motel. (When my dad first moved to America, he was taking a bus across the country. At one point, he leaned over to his travel companion and asked, “Who is this guy Motel, he owns half the country?”) 5Extra, ExtraAll Bets Are Off: “Indictments against current and former N.B.A. players, including a well-known head coach who is a member of the Basketball Hall of Fame, were unsealed on Thursday, in a pair of criminal cases involving professional athletes, including one scheme in coordination with Mafia families.” (Who do these guys think they are, government officials?) U.S. Details Gambling Cases Involving Pro Athletes and Mafia Families. “The charges announced today stem from separate indictments. One charges defendants with using private information about N.B.A. players, including whether they would be sitting out N.B.A. games or exiting early, to place hundreds of thousands of dollars in bets at online sports books and in casinos ... Another indictment involves a series of rigged high-stakes poker games that were backed by organized crime families.” 6Bottom of the News“In France, we pride ourselves on enjoying life’s simple pleasures: food, drink, and the occasional grand larceny. To rush through these things would not just disrupt our leisurely schedule; it would be a sin. One must savor the moment, not run from robbery to robbery like a buffoon.” McSweeney’s: I, a French Jewel Thief, Refuse to Rob the Louvre Before Mid-Morning. |