| I’m Lara Williams, and this is Bloomberg Opinion Today, a viral narrative of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. Sign up here. This modern gold rush is wreaking havoc on my wedding budget. We were going to wait until next year to start the hunt for our two gold bands – we’ve got invitations to send out first – but with retailers such as Pandora, Signet and Mejuri warning of price increases, I’m wondering whether it’s a case of act now or be forced to look at silicone or even wooden versions instead. I’m not the only one getting gold FOMO. Nir Kaissar has noticed the trend sweeping the investment world, with Google searches for “how to buy gold” at a record high (I promise that isn’t all just me) and Morgan Stanley’s Mike Wilson suggesting that investors move half their bond allocation to gold for a 60/20/20 stock/bond/gold mix. Is that the right move? Nir doesn’t think so. After all, gold is a less reliable performer than stocks: “In the past two decades, flows to gold funds spiked around the 2008 financial crisis, President Donald Trump’s first inauguration in 2016 and the 2020 Covid pandemic. Each time, the gold rally fizzled when fears subsided, and stocks ultimately kept pace or outperformed, even after accounting for gold’s recent surge.” For a different way of thinking about the gold surge, John Authers suggests taking a trip to Rome circa 201-ish AD. The Roman currency was going through a decline — getting smaller and containing a smaller percentage of silver — which overlapped with the fall of the empire. This narrative of “currency debasement” — a fear that inflation and lax money will lead to the intrinsic devaluation of the dollar — is back, John writes, and leading the trade away from the dollar and into gold. That’s kinda weird because, technically, debasement has already happened. The weight of gold that a dollar will buy you has dropped by more than 99% in barely more than half a century – crushing the Roman denarius’s fall in silver content of 95% over three centuries. So why are we all flocking to gold now? John says it’s all about viral, yet empty, narratives. But if there’s someone who loves gold more than the folks clamoring to buy it today, it’s US President Donald Trump. Tim O’Brien details Trump’s gold obsession that harks back to at least the 1980s. His triplex in Trump Tower had gold linoleum. His ill-fated airline had gold-plated bathroom fixtures. Even his favorite Bond villain was Goldfinger. Now he’s bringing that gilded taste to the East Wing of the White House by demolishing it and replacing it with a $300 million, 90,000-square-foot ballroom that will be, of course, festooned with gold. For a glimpse of how that will look, just peer into the Oval Office, which now has gold curtains, gold picture frames, gold coasters, gold door trims and a gold cherub, among other golden items. Tim writes that, along with the East Wing, a wrecking ball has been taken to the notion that the President “should have goals and values that transcend grifts and power grabs.” This in itself has become a contagion of sorts. Adrian Wooldridge writes that CEOs have turned into courtiers fawning over Trump and, in order to please him, are starting to dress to impress. Even the tech executives have ditched their hoodies and sweats in favor of suits and bling. Mark Zuckerberg has taken to wearing an $895,000 Greubel Forsey watch (rather appropriately, the hand-crafted watch has a white gold case.) Gold, today, has taken on new meanings of fear and lavish greed. That’s a shame when a few grams on a ring finger signifies love and commitment. But, of course, that’d be the case no matter what the material. Technology is truly a joy when it makes our lives easier. Mark Gilbert, for example, is particularly impressed with a $220 software package called Ozone that uses an AI-powered assistant to identify a song’s key characteristics and then suggest various tweaks depending on the genre it detects. This software is helping Mark’s band, Scotia630, produce music that sounds better than ever. Mark likens it to “having a really qualified pair of ears commenting from behind the mixing desk and adding smart processing that us part-timers will never have the hours to understand.” You can listen to the result on Scotia630’s new album here. But there are times when the high-tech solution is more of a faff, as the owners of smart beds discovered during the Amazon Web Services outage earlier this week. Many were rudely awakened by their beds readjusting their preferred sleeping temperatures, getting stuck at extreme inclines or sounding wake-up alarms. I slept soundly on my dumb mattress. Ferrari is the latest manufacturer to realize that sometimes a simple mechanical design is enough. The luxury carmaker is moving away from finicky touch-sensitive controls and going back to buttons. There's a good reason to do so. As Chris Bryant notes, “fiddling around for the right setting on the ubiquitous flatscreen is potentially dangerous when out on the road.” Studies also show it takes much longer to perform simple tasks when using a screen. Overdesigning simple features can also have grave consequences. Tesla’s flush door handles can befuddle first responders and trap passengers inside in emergency situations, for example. So let’s have AI and cool gizmos when they really serve a purpose. But leave the fundamentals — like door handles and beds — alone. While Nike, Adidas and Asics have all been able to cash in on the nostalgia trend sweeping fashion, Vans has struggled to take off. That is, until now. Andrea Felsted notes that it might just be the skater brand’s time to shine. With Sun Choe, Lululemon’s former chief product officer, at the helm, Vans is generating some brand buzz — and selling well at mass retailers in the US and UK. The trick to maintaining momentum is to take a couple of cues from the current sneaker king at Adidas. As fake burgers become a meme stock, real beef is taking a hit from Trump. The president wants to import beef from Argentina to drive prices down. As you might expect, US farmers are not at all happy with this idea. While beef prices are at record highs, Patricia Lopez writes that it hasn’t necessarily been good for ranchers. Rising production costs and drought have made raising cattle much harder. Farm bankruptcies were up 56% from the previous year ending in June, and with cattle ranchers disappearing, the national cattle herd is at a 75-year low. Trump’s been urging beef producers to lower their prices over on Truth Social, but the market isn’t controlled that way. The president’s real beef, Patricia points out, is with the four multinational meatpacking corporations that oversee about 85% of the domestic market. Ranchers were counting on Trump to help them. He seems a little too distracted. Why Maine voters haven’tcanceled Graham Platner (yet). – Nia-Malika Henderson Does Disney really need to make a ‘Hocus Pocus 3’? – Jason Bailey A Ukraine peace deal must include three guarantees. — James Stavridis American ‘state capitalism’ is destined for failure. – The Editors China is closing the quantum technology gap. — Catherine Thorbecke Why can’t Shohei Ohtani truly ‘Be Like Mike’? — Adam Minter Global gourmet dining is getting a shake-up from China. Trouble is brewing in the US economy. Wall Street’s bet on bagels. Florida is being haunted by a death train. Need a laugh? Funny animal photo winners just dropped. “Mind-boggling” poker fraud. Notes: Please send gold rings and feedback to Lara Williams at lwilliams218@bloomberg.net. Sign up here and find us on Bluesky, TikTok, Instagram, LinkedIn and Threads. | 
