'Twas the night before Christmas, and Santa was sighing,
He looked at the bridge traffic, and said, “Thank God I’m flying.”

The stockings were hung for St. Nicholas to find,
While the unions prayed for Dan McKee to change his mind.

And the children went to bed, all tucked in place, 
But their parents stayed up late, discussing the governor’s race.

When out on the street, there arose a small collision,
It was Joe Shekarchi, still weighing his decision.

He’s telling everyone who’ll listen he’s got what it takes,
But not if Helena Foulkes is out there cutting his brakes.

Down in Newport, the carols rang out joyfully at sea,
Except one voice in the distance yelling, “I’m an A.G.”

When will these people learn that when you get in a jam,
It’s never OK to ask, “Do you know who I am?”

Back on South Main, Peter Neronha’s prosecuting crimes,
And don’t forget that he’s sued Donald Trump like 900 times.

As he starts to wrap up, there’s a knock at the door,
Here comes Keith and Kim and Rep. Knight… maybe more.

Now it’s time to settle down, and I just want to say,
We’re thinking of Judge Caprio, Donny Ruggiero, and those we lost this year along the way.

And in this little state, where the news gets around,
We still bow our heads for the tragedy at Brown.

So hug those you love, and hold one another tight,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.