On Nicole’s very first date with Mark, she told him she doesn’t want kids. The then-29-year-old had no interest in wasting her time on a relationship with someone who wasn’t on the same page. To her relief, Mark said that was fine, and they quickly became serious. Three years later, he was in the process of moving into her house, and they were even talking about marriage — that is, until one night while they were coming home from a wine bar and he said, “I think we’re done.” At first, Nicole thought he was talking about booze. “Yeah, I’ve drank enough for today,” she said. But he meant the relationship. “I want kids,” he told her. Nicole was speechless. She thought they shared a vision of the same future, full of game nights and afternoons at breweries. When did that start to change? Or was he lying the whole time? Nicole yelled at Mark, stormed out of his apartment, and sobbed on the drive home, thinking about how just a few words had upended her life. “Everyone has the right to change their mind,” she said. But this felt like a betrayal, as if he had been pretending to share her values while secretly harboring a different set of desires.
