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→ At this point, is he trolling us: Standing by the Easter Bunny, atop the South Portico balcony, our president gave an update on Iran. “I don’t think it gets much more hostile than Iran. They’re capable fighters,” he said, as Melania, with a bouncy blonde hairdo, and Bunny stood on either side of him. It’s up to the voters to decide who served a more chilling stare. My new theory: Trump knows this is funny. He’s trolling us. It’s a bit. He waits for Bunny to get there before he starts in on Iran. My other theory: Mike Johnson is the bunny.

Now in this next quote, I’m less sure of exactly what’s happening. This is Trump describing some good old-fashioned American warfighting, and I will make no further comment: “They came in so fast and so hard, and these guys knew exactly what—let’s go, come on, get in, let’s go, pwah. They came one right after another. Not at the same time. They don’t want to come at the same time. They had to come right after each other. They didn’t have any room.”...