| Dear Carolyn: I (40-year-old woman) have been happily married for 15-plus years to a sweet, wonderful man. Husband is a genuinely excellent partner and a kind, funny, good person in general. I also have a long-standing male best friend, who is my close colleague at work and part of the same church. Our lives are very intertwined, and we talk every day. Husband and Bestie’s wife have always been cool with our friendship. We frequently socialize as couples, Husband and Bestie play a sport together, we go to their kids’ events, etc. Bestie has no other family and thinks of me as his adopted sister. The past 18 months have been very hard for me due to chaos at work and a health crisis. I have other supportive friends and family, but Husband and Bestie have been my daily rocks. During this time, I have suddenly become very physically attracted to Bestie. This has never been a thing before, and objectively I think it’s just emotional flailing in response to stress. I feel tremendous guilt for even having these thoughts but am having trouble shaking them. I have obliquely acknowledged this to Husband, who gave me a hug and told me he trusts me to work through it. Bestie knows I’ve been a little weird recently but chalks it up to everything else. Both would be surprised and dismayed to know how I’m actually struggling. How do I shut this down without hurting these precious relationships? — Not as Evolved as I Thought | 
