| Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My sister’s husband is deployed. She has two young children and was struggling with daily life as a single mom, plus my family has tons of extra space in our house, so I invited her and her kids to come and live with us until her husband is home. My sister works full time, and I am home with my two kids who are roughly the same ages as hers, so I also offered to provide child care coverage during the gap between the end of the school day and the end of her workday. Her kids play with mine and they are old enough that I don’t have to supervise every second, but young and spirited enough that I do sometimes have to break up fights or correct misbehavior. Herein lies the problem. My sister has taken issue with every disciplinary technique I have. I am NOT talking about anything controversial like corporal punishment or emotionally berating them. I am talking about things like brief timeouts, removing a toy or object that’s causing fights, or sequestering a kid who’s causing problems (“So-and-so, come sit in the kitchen while I do the dishes”). Each time I have had to do any of the above, the kids tell their mom about it, and she approaches me to tell me why she isn’t comfortable with it. She is allowed to raise her kids however she wants, in my home or elsewhere, but her hand-tying has left me feeling like I cannot effectively care for them when she’s not here. But I don’t know how to say that without it sounding like a threat, which has me second-guessing whether it’s a fair stance. If I’ve agreed to care for her kids, then do I just have to do it her way — which apparently is to just allow them to steal each other’s things, hit, etc.? — Caregiver, Disarmed | 
