| Dear Carolyn: My husband and I have a 13-year-old and a 14-year-old. Each received a phone on their 13th birthday. House rules are no phones when eating a meal together at the table or during car rides under 30 minutes. In-laws are in their mid-60s, recently retired and are around our house more frequently. They are on their phones all the time, including at the table. I’ve told them and my husband has told them the rule, and they say something along the lines of they aren’t on their phones or they were on for just a minute or they don’t have to have the same rules as the kids. My husband travels for work, so I am on the front lines with the in-laws. My kids literally point to their grandpa and say, “He’s on HIS phone, what’s the big deal?” Last week, before dinner, I went around with a hat and told everyone to put their phones in, and FIL balked and said he wasn’t a kid. He refused to put his phone in but did keep it out of sight for dinner. FIL is now threatening not to come back if I continue to treat him as a child. My husband says the hat thing was insulting, and while he’ll tell his dad the rule again, we can’t enforce it. I get so little time with our kids — the no-phone rule IS very important to me. Is this the hill I want to die on? How do I decide? And how do I communicate it to my husband? — At the Table | 
