Somewhere out there, someone is standing in a Costco with a flatbed cart stacked with 7,320 cans of Monster.
That’s a 20-year supply!
A wall of caffeine so tall it needs its own zip code.
And here's the thing.
That’s kinda genius.
even preppers need stims
Not because chugging a Monster and making your hear dance the Cha Cha every day is a great life choice.
But because that guy did something 90% of energy drink drinkers never do:
He looked his habit dead in the eye and acknowledged it's a DAILY thing.
Most of you don’t have the stones.
(Or, uh, lady stones…)
You tell yourself it's "just one." Just a little treat. Just $4.
Meanwhile you're hitting the gas station cooler like it owes you money.
white monster to your bank account
So let's do the math you've been avoiding.
One Monster at a gas station runs you about $4.
If you have one per day, every day...
That's $1,460 a year.
FOURTEEN. HUNDRED. DOLLARS.
On carbonated battery acid.
That's a decent Roth contribution.
That's a starter emergency fund.
That's four months of car payments for some of you!
And the wild part?
Nobody bats a fucking eye.
Because $4 doesn't feel like money. It's so small , it feels more like a rounding error.
And that’s exactly why it’s so insidious.
Your budget never gets murdered by one big purchase.
It gets stabbed 365 times by little ones.
And energy drinks are the perfect crime, because the habit hides inside your routine. You don't ever really decide to buy a Monster or Red Bull. You just... end up holding one.
Again.
Like it teleported into your hand.
(It didn’t. You’re just weak.)
So here's how to handle your caffeine habit like an adult:
1. Do the annual math on EVERY daily habit.
Not just energy drinks.
The coffee.
The vape.
The zyn.
The "quick" snack run.
The lunch you buy because you "forgot" to pack one for the 47th day in a row.
Take the daily cost, multiply by 365, and sit with that number.
If the yearly total makes you physically wince, congratulations.
You found a leak.
Now let's plug it.
2. If you're keeping the habit, stop paying retail for it.
Here's where our Costco king actually cooks.
That same Monster that costs $4 at the gas station? A 24-pack at Costco runs around $32 to $44 depending on the flavor. That's roughly $1.35 to $1.85 a can.
Pssst…
If you want to save even more, GamerSupps is running a 10% discount.
Their cost per serving is like $0.40, and it’s waaaay healthier than gas station garbage.
(Plus I have my own flavor, and when you get a tub, there’s a 1/10 chance it’ll have my face on it. Limited edition AF.)
Just hit this link and use code CALEB to save 10% on your entire order.
But look if you don’t wanna save a ton on a better energy beverage, at least consider bulk buying.
Same drink, same questionable ingredients, but less than half the price.
A daily can bought in bulk costs you around $500 to $650 a year instead of $1,460.
That's $800+ back in your pocket for the crime of... planning ahead.
You don't have to quit, just stop paying the "I didn't think about it" tax.
3. Cut the frequency, not your personality.
I'm not telling you to quit cold turkey and become a kale juice person.
gross
That never sticks anyway.
You'll white-knuckle it for six days and then buy three Monsters and a hot dog to stop the withdrawals.
Instead, downgrade the habit.
Daily becomes weekdays only, and then weekdays become three a week.
Every can you don't drink is money that stays in your pocket.
Plus, your sleep schedule might stop looking like a crime scene.
Small downgrades stick.
4. Redirect the difference or it never happened.
Pay attention! This is the important part:
If you cut your habit from $1,460 a year to $500, you didn't "save" $960.
Not unless that money actually goes somewhere.
Otherwise it just dissolves into DoorDash and Amazon like it never existed.
Set up an automatic transfer for the difference.
Just $20 a week into savings or investments is plenty.
Do that from age 25 to 65 at average market returns and your energy drink money becomes six figures.
Your retirement, sponsored by NOT drinking Monster.
Look... I don't actually care if you drink energy drinks.
I care that while you don’t have an emergency fund, you DO have four, five, six of these "invisible" habits running at once.
Then you wonder where your money went.
Know your numbers, buy intentionally, and redirect the savings.
And in case I have to spell it out for the kids in the back, maybe don't buy 365 cans at once.
Your kidneys have a budget too.
Taquitos,
Caleb "Energy Fund" Hammer
P.S. If a $4 can made you sweat, imagine what the rest of your finances look like under the hood.
Stop guessing, and get your Hammer Score.
It's free, takes 2 minutes, and it'll tell you exactly what to focus on to get to the next financial level.
