| Dear Carolyn: I’m the distant daughter-in-law in the oft-described scenario of not having a warm relationship with my mother-in-law. I am cordial to her, I try to minimize our asks of her, and I try to prioritize the time my in-laws get with our young child. I also encourage my husband to spend time with his parents whenever he wants. What I don’t do is prioritize the time my in-laws get with me — I am busy, work full time, and have a family and friends, and because of that my mother-in-law is constantly disappointed in me — that I don’t make enough time for her, that I don’t communicate and text and call her, etc. The thing is, I don’t want to do that — I would have to spend less time elsewhere, and the one thing I don’t have is time. What do I do? Am I a terrible person? I can’t stand the muttered remarks about never seeing me, or how she wishes for X, Y and Z, all related to things I should do that I am not doing. And yet I recognize my mother-in-law is aging and a grandparent to our child. Do I just keep ignoring the remarks? They seem to be getting worse and more intense. And why are women expected to have relationships with their mothers-in-law? I have a mother, I love her, and I don’t need another. — Hi, I’m the Problem DIL, It’s Me | 
