| We asked readers to channel their inner Carolyn Hax and answer this question. Some of the best responses are below. Dear Carolyn: Since we started dating nearly 20 years ago, my husband has been interested in cars. It’s an interest I don’t share, but we had plenty of other shared interests (and I have some he doesn’t share!), so all was fine. During the pandemic, he bought an old car to tinker with in the garage, and since then, this interest has taken over his (albeit limited) free time. He works on the car, researches the car, chats with other car people online, plans trips to car meetups, etc. He still puts our family first and takes care of all his responsibilities, but pretty much any non-car activity has to be suggested by me. I’m feeling increasingly disconnected from him. I don’t want to make this a point of conflict (I’m really happy he has found a community and something that feels engaging), but I miss sharing interests with him. Whenever I’ve said something, it’ll get better for a bit but then drift back to the status quo when I stop pushing. This isn’t marriage-ending — we have three kids and are generally in a good place — but it is happiness-eroding. How can I address this, or at least make peace with it? — Husband’s Hobby |
