| Dear Carolyn: My wife and I just celebrated our 61st anniversary and realize how fortunate we are. We have friends who are on their second marriages after painful divorces. Their marriages seem successful and it’s difficult to see how the first spouses didn’t realize how lucky they were. I also know people who had an awful first mate and now enjoy a successful marriage. However, I have a friend who rejects even dating, whom I would never ask about his decision. This guy is incredible in every way. Bright, educated, devoted dad, successful. Character through the roof, totally trustworthy, helps the less fortunate. His wife cheated on him decades ago. They divorced. He has never dated as far as I know. We socialize as a threesome or in larger groups. I guess the scar is so deep. He is devoted to his children, who are successful adults. He has many activities. He exercises. I can’t think of any flaw he might have. I am fortunate to have him as a friend. I know that in general, single people have a shorter life expectancy. I hope this isn’t so for him. But more than that, I think he would be happier with the right person. I would never say this, however, to him. — J. | 
