| Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared Jan. 18, 2012. Dear Carolyn: My brother and his wife are expecting a little boy this spring. We’re all very excited, and I’ve offered to host the baby shower. The problem is that the parents-to-be are putting all kinds of conditions on the shower. They want it to be co-ed, because my sister-in-law doesn’t want to have all the attention on her. They also don’t want to open gifts at the shower. I really don’t like these ideas and wish I hadn’t offered to host the shower. I sincerely doubt that men want to go to a baby shower. In addition, saying you don’t want to let people ooh and ahh over all the cute baby gifts is like saying, “Just leave the gift at the door.” These two have a habit of being very bad hosts when they host parties themselves. They’ll turn off the heat or AC to save money and not care about the comfort of their guests. They serve minimal food, and you always leave hungry. I just don’t want to be seen as an awful hostess so I can accommodate their preferences. Thanks for any guidance you can provide. — Baby shower dilemma | 
