 TGIF: Sort of a Fat Slob Trump Mobile ships a rebranded T-Mobile phone, Princeton kills its 133-year honor code, $10 billion in Covid relief went to really fun stuff, AOC says you can’t earn a billion dollars, and much more.
President Trump and Chinese president Xi Jinping attend a welcome ceremony on May 14, 2026, in Beijing, China. (Alex Wong via Getty Images)
Hello, and welcome back to our news roundup, where you find some of the headlines, and all of the bias. Let’s get into it. → American rage about the economy is hitting Trump: Inflation has hit 3.8 percent, and Americans are mad as hell about the economy. Per CNN’s new poll, Dems lead a generic ballot 45–42. And 65 percent of Americans say the tariffs have made their economic situation worse. Maybe President Trump’s visit to China will be part of getting those smoothed out to keep our cheap goods nice and cheap and microplastic-y. He’s there with Elon Musk and Tim Cook and 15 other major American business leaders this week, firmly establishing China as the official Other Great World Power and probably giving away Taiwan (at this point, fine, just make sure the knockoff furniture I ordered from Shenzhen comes in the right colors, and in two days). China is officially Mar-a-Lago of the East. Their history culminates in this moment—the Trump-Xi Summit featuring Elon and his toddler in a cute little vest. Trump was treated to a state dinner where a military band played the Trump and bathhouse anthem “Y.M.C.A.,” and the president took a little sip of champagne. One day this will mark the beginning of some significant geopolitical shift with centuries-long consequences, but for now it was just sort of cute and odd...
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