Good morning. We like it when projects are completed, but what if we could abide comfortably in the toiling and striving it takes to get them there?
Unfinished businessWhen the architect Antoni Gaudí died at the age of 73 on June 10, 1926, the Sagrada Familia, the soaring basilica in Barcelona that he worked on for more than 40 years, was only fractionally complete. Construction has been continual and contentious over the intervening 100 years, but in February, work on the central tower was completed, making it the tallest church in the world. This week, on the anniversary of Gaudí’s death, Pope Leo held a Mass in the nave to bless the spire. But still, La Sagrada Familia is not complete, and construction will continue for years to come. This is as Gaudí expected; he did not intend for it to be finished in his lifetime. “My client is in no hurry,” he is reputed to have said. He expected that future generations would work on his masterpiece, as had been the case with the great European cathedrals. This kind of patience is essential when one is building cathedrals, but leaving things unfinished doesn’t jibe with our productivity-fixated culture. We’re our own clients, and we’re in spectacular hurries to get things done, to optimize and perfect and polish off so we can move on to the next. We like our projects shipped, our Apple Watch rings closed, our past relationships resolved. I wrote recently about putting together a summer reading list to ensure 10 books completed by Labor Day. It wouldn’t feel satisfying to suggest we might spend the summer grazing on books and never finish them. I feel antsy when the app icon shows I have an unread email. The poet John Keats coined the term “negative capability” to describe “when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” Negative capability isn’t comfortable. It’s a liminal place, a zone of questions and ongoing work rather than a clean arrival at knowing. I feel a gnawing in my stomach when I consider dwelling here too long. For the person who likes to check things off a list, it seems at first like the existential equivalent of a sink of dirty dishes. But a capability to sit with uncertainty doesn’t mean you’re not still working. Indeed, Keats saw negative capability as the hallmark of “a Man of Achievement.” You’re in the middle of doing the dishes, not leaving them to grow mold. I told someone recently that I needed some worry resolved in order to be OK, and that until it was, I might experience moments of happiness, but I wouldn’t truly rest. I realized immediately how silly this sounded. I’d put living on hold until I’d solved this problem. But the time during which the problem is unresolved is life, too. We do this all the time: suspend living until some future moment when work is done, closure is achieved, some desired state is attained. We perceive “uncertainties, mysteries, doubts” as things we must endure, rather than someplace we can abide. My friend Daniel, frustrated with the way he and everyone he knows turn to their phones when they forget the name of a movie or book, created a rule: When you’re in a group of people, if it’s not essential to the progression of the conversation, don’t look it up. It’s uncomfortable to sit with the name of that actor on the tip of your tongue, but you’ll get it eventually. Let your memory do its thing. That “irritable reaching” is often for our devices, the source of all answers and all distraction. I’m not suggesting you leave your to-do list unfinished for your children’s children to complete. But it’s worth looking at all the ways we postpone being OK in pursuit of completion. There’s virtue in being done with things, but we spend a far greater amount of our lives in the making and toiling and striving it takes to get there. We might try to get more comfortable with the process.
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The Hunt: A retired math teacher, her daughter and granddaughter put together about $1 million to find a house in New Rochelle, N.Y., for their extended family. What did they find? Play our game. What you get for $525,000: A pair of Spanish-style bungalows in Twentynine Palms, Calif. A farmhouse in Whitestown, Ind. A Craftsman in Tampa, Fla. A Manhattan aerie: A home in the gables of the iconic Dakota building is full of architectural flourishes. It’s now on the market for $8 million. Take a look inside. Gone native: For homeowners who have “rewilded” their gardens with native plants, a moment of truth arrives when they prepare to sell.
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Eye cream actually works — with patienceWe embarked on our brand-new guide to eye creams with skepticism. To our surprise, a few standouts made notable differences for our testers. But consistency and patience are just as important as the ingredients. In fact, some of our testers only began to see differences at the 30-day mark. (Not that instant gratification is impossible to come by: Our testers found that a cooling applicator helped depuff morning eyes on contact.) And in the meantime, a really great concealer can make a big difference. — Abbie Kozolchyk |
