I Had a Lot of Opinions About Motherhood Before I Actually Became a Mom

Before I had kids, I had a pretty clear idea of what my life was going to look like.

For a long time, I assumed I would always be a dental hygienist. I had gone to school for it, I had a career, I made good money, and it felt like the responsible, obvious path. Then before I ever had kids, I started making money online because, quite literally, I was broke and wanted to pay for our wedding in cash. What started as extra money eventually grew to about four times what I had been making each month in dental hygiene, and I quit my job before I ever became a mom.

So technically, motherhood wasn’t what made me leave a traditional career. I was already working for myself from home by the time I had kids. What motherhood changed was how I felt about being home, how much I valued having control over my time, and how complicated it would eventually feel to be both deeply grateful that I could stay home with my kids and still need work, goals and something that was mine.

I also had a pretty clear picture of the kind of mom I would be, although I’m not sure what qualifications I had used to come up with it.

I think there was probably a lot of playing on the floor involved. Crafts. Activities. Maybe some sort of sensory bin situation happening on a Tuesday morning. I would be patient and present and really good at playing pretend for an amount of time that current me finds absolutely hilarious.

I never thought I’d homeschool. I trusted doctors without thinking particularly hard about it. I wasn’t especially worried about screen time. There were just a lot of things I assumed I knew because I hadn’t had any reason yet to question them.

Then I actually had kids.

I’ve been a mom for almost seven years now, and one of the strangest parts of it has been realizing how many things I was completely sure about until I was the one responsible for three actual human beings.

Some of my opinions have completely flipped. Some have gotten stronger. Some have landed in a really inconvenient middle where I can see both sides now and I’m actually less certain than I was before.

This isn’t a list of things I think every mom should believe. If anything, motherhood has made me much less interested in telling another woman what her family should look like.

These are just the things I was sure about before I had kids, and what I think now that I’m actually living it...