Welcome to the T List, a newsletter from the editors of T Magazine. For our holiday gift guide this year, we asked readers to send us questions about the hardest-to-please people on their list. Below, our editors answer some of the most intriguing queries we received. (We sent our first batch of responses last week.) Sign up here to find us in your inbox every Wednesday, along with monthly travel and beauty guides and the latest stories from our print issues. And you can always reach us at tmagazine@nytimes.com. To Amuse a Moody Aesthete
“My friend is a late-in-life medical student with a graduate degree in art history. His hobbies include feeling sad on rainy nights, wearing expensive pajamas and reading the same John Cheever stories over and over again. He knows every smoking-allowed dive bar in Philadelphia. He sculls before class, plays tennis on the city courts and has an encyclopedic knowledge of Bill Evans recordings. His favorite things are small, impractical and impossible to find: a paperback edition of Lydia Davis’s “The Cows,” a pair of hand-painted Qajar dynasty equestrian tiles and a trompe l’oeil pen holder in the shape of a daikon radish.” — Michael, Philadelphia; budget: $75 to $100 If I hadn’t been hypnotized to quit smoking in 2019, I’d have sworn you were describing me. I, too, love being a sad little cozy snob. Just last night, as Smog played quietly in the background and my dog, whose name is Ennui, slept on my lap, I was reading Elif Batuman’s “The Idiot” in a waffle robe and Hästens slipper boots. At the risk of oversharing, I will admit that I was running the hair dryer, which I often use to warm my bare legs and feet. For lighting cigarettes or candles, I’d give your friend one of two lighter holders: a brightly colored plastic sheath from Resin at the Disco or a more opulent option by the New York-based jewelry brand Fry Powers, which comes in 14-karat gold, sterling silver or unlacquered brass and was inspired by the work of the Italian architect and designer Gio Ponti. (Your friend sounds a bit like a Bret Easton Ellis character — a compliment — so the second option might be your better bet.) When I’m indulging in the emptiness of adulthood, I like to rewatch the movies that formed me: earlier this year, the Criterion Collection released Gregg Araki’s “Teen Apocalypse” Trilogy — “Totally F***ed Up” (1993), “Doom Generation” (1995) and “Nowhere” (1997) — as a box set. It’s the perfect eye roll to everyone and everything. (If he doesn’t have a DVD or Blu-ray player, how about a one-year subscription to the Criterion Channel?) For an alternative to a novel, I suggest “Cat Full of Spiders,” a guidebook and tarot deck by the actress Christina Ricci. Each of the 78 cards is illustrated with one of her many mordant characters. Finally, since your friend likes trompe l’oeil, I think he might enjoy this 3-D-printed plastic wallet, which the artist Stefan Gougherty has hand-detailed to look like a cuneiform tablet. If that won’t impress him, try a hair dryer. (For my money, there’s none better than the Dyson Supersonic in Prussian blue.) — Nick Haramis To Impress a Sporty, Fashion-Forward 16-Year-Old
“My 16-year-old goddaughter ideally wants hair products, makeup, clothes, jewelry or ‘anything interesting.’ She’s interested in fashion but is also quite sporty and active. She enjoys reading, history and philosophy, as well as current affairs. I’m always wary about buying for teen girls as some things can be too young or too adult. She has curly 3B hair and likes gold jewelry.” — Hannah, Reston, Va.; budget: $5 to $50 Your goddaughter sounds like a bit of a trendsetter, which makes shopping for her all the more intimidating — it might feel like she’s always one (or 10!) steps ahead of what you think is the latest, greatest find. I came up with some suggestions that touch on most of the categories she’s interested in, focusing on a few newer brands and unexpected pieces. In September, the Japanese clothing brand Uniqlo expanded its sister label, Gu, launching its first shops in the United States. Its versatile yet sporty silhouettes include this cable polo sweater and pleated skort. For a beauty gift that also nods to her athleticism, try the lip serum from Serena Williams’s line Wyn Beauty or a sunscreen from the Los Angeles-based brand Prequel that moisturizes skin as well as protecting it. For hair, consider a curl kit — leave-in conditioner, mist and a sculptural pick comb — by Ceremonia, the hair-care company that highlights Latin American ingredients. And when it comes to jewelry that’s affordable yet playful and elegant, go for Eye M’s hoop earring adorned with an enamel charm, or this ring from Meideya that looks like a splash frozen in time. — Gage Daughdrill To Encourage Confidence — and Sophistication — in an Unpretentious Son
“My 28-year-old son is a handsome yet shy stonemason. He expresses a disinterest in clothes yet enjoys our gifts of mostly construction clothing (Carhartt, Big Ben and Dickies). Gentle cycle on the washing machine eludes him, and dry cleaning would be out of the question. He’s crazy about his girlfriend, who is darling and quite glam. I think he should upgrade his appearance to match hers, at least a bit. His apartment is a mess and needs regular cleaning. Hiring a cleaning service for him would be way too controlling, right? As would my wardrobe suggestions, I’m sure. But I’d like him to embrace adulthood in a more confident manner that includes dressing more carefully and maybe having friends over for dinner once in a while. (I know he enjoys cooking and baking.) What’s a mother to do?” — Kathleen, San Francisco; budget: up to $500 With his interest in stonecraft, cooking and Carhartt, your son sounds like several guys I know in my North Brooklyn neighborhood — and California, for that matter — so I thought about what they’d want. First up: the Ooni Koni gas-powered pizza oven, which my colleagues at Wirecutter love. It’s perfect for someone who’s moved beyond baking bread, or just wants to have friends over for a meal that sounds more casual than “dinner party.” On that note, every cook needs a good knife; my favorite’s the nine-inch one from New West Knifeworks, which looks great and, since it’s handmade in America, will perhaps appeal to the mason in him. I agree with you that clothes are harder, but a simple coat that’s nicer than one he’d ever buy himself seems unimpeachable: I like the Boa fleece jacket from the Japanese workwear brand OrSlow, which seems in line with his current style. Or try a classic black zip-up from Arc’teryx, a Vancouver-based company that’s revered among lots of quietly fashionable folks for its lightweight, waterproof technical fabrics. To rebuild his look from the ground up, you can’t go wrong with handsome-but-durable boots — these NN07 x Fracap ones, a collaboration between a Danish and an Italian company, might pair well with his daily wardrobe. And if none of these ideas seem quite right, just get him the cleaning service. He could say he doesn’t want it, but what son doesn’t lie to his mother? — Kurt Soller To Enhance the Everyday for an Expectant Daughter-in-Law
“My pregnant 31-year-old daughter-in-law is a fifth-grade schoolteacher who likes biking, hiking and outdoor activities. She’s not a coffee lover but likes tea. She prefers savory things over sweets. She likes to travel but is restricted with a small child (her other son is almost 3).” — Jane, Minneapolis; budget: $20 to $200 As a mom myself, I’m thinking of gifts that are not only delightful but also genuinely useful to an active mother of two under 3. A portable Bluetooth speaker is essential when I do anything outdoors — the Ultimate Ears Miniroll is a lightweight option that straps on to a belt or backpack and delivers surprisingly good sound quality. Your daughter-in-law can toss it into a bag from Pacific Tote Company, founded by the filmmaker Roman Coppola; the brand offers a wide range of colors and sizes ideal for a trip to the playground or a more far-flung locale. I’ve been eyeing the Catalina to replace my ancient L.L. Bean Boat and Tote. The tea lovers in my life tend to like those from the Brooklyn-based company Masha Tea, which recently launched a set of refillable tins with bags of five organic varietals — green, mint, black, lemon balm and Earl Grey. They’d be nice to have around after the baby arrives for the inevitable influx of visitors. Add a set of brightly colored enamelware mugs from Crow Canyon, which are durable enough for camping or snack time at home with the kids. — Jamie Sims To Delight a Luxury Shopper Without Spending a Fortune
“My sister buys herself Birkin bags (I think she has at least 12!) and gets new clothes and shoes for every occasion (think brands like YSL, Chanel, Hermès). When I ask what she wants as a gift, she’ll tell me about a face mask that is $500 and think she’s asking for something reasonable. Help! I can’t keep up and would never spend this kind of money on myself, let alone a family member who can easily afford this stuff on her own. How can I, who doesn’t live in this way, ever compete?” — Leigh, Chicago; budget: $150 to $250 Finding a holiday gift for your sister — a self-proclaimed connoisseur of luxury — without compromising your finances might seem daunting, but there are some thoughtful ways you can nod to her tastes without breaking the bank. To get a sense of what’s new and exciting, I consulted some of the very houses whose products she covets. This month, Celine introduced its inaugural lipstick: a quintessential Parisian red encased in a refillable gold holder designed as much for display as for function. (You can drop some industry knowledge and let her know that the brand plans to release 12 new shades in January.) Chanel has debuted a perfume case that doubles as a wearable accessory, available with either the classic No. 5 or the fresher No. 5 L’Eau. To match her collection of Birkins, try a customizable Hermès four-pencil gift set, which can be filled with any of the brand’s lip or eye colors. This is available only in stores, so head to the Oak Street boutique to place your order or give them a call. For something particularly special, consider going vintage: a decade ago, Hermès made a scented drawer liner, which you can now buy on secondhand sites such as eBay. An avid collector like your sister might find it a delightful surprise. — Angela Koh To Please the Man Who Needs Nothing
“My mother-in-law’s boyfriend is a real salt-of-the-earth Midwestern rural man. He’s a Virgo, he likes to hunt and trap, watch football and drink domestic beer. He loves his grandkids. He is not techy and takes care of his stuff, so he still has plenty of slippers and wallets and other reliable men’s gifts. I’m at a loss on what to get him that I haven’t gotten him in the past or he doesn’t already have.” — Katie, Cleveland; budget: $50 Sometimes it’s nice to get someone who seems to have what he needs a nicer version of what he already has, something he may not splurge on for himself. He may already own some Vermont-made Darn Tough socks, but what about a cashmere pair like these, leather gloves that form to their wearer’s hands over time, a luxurious but simple knit cap or a well-made Buck 110 knife? You also mentioned that he loves spending time with his grandchildren. You might consider treating him to something he can do with them. They all might enjoy lunch at a favorite neighborhood restaurant or a movie like “That Christmas,” a heartwarming new release, or an old classic that he may have seen as a child, like “A Christmas Carol.” — Tom Delavan FROM T’S INSTAGRAM
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