| Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared Oct. 20, 2010. Dear Carolyn: Our extended family is gathering to celebrate a dear cousin’s 70th birthday, with people driving and flying in from all over. My husband and I and my two adult sons (plus one son’s girlfriend) plan to meet up in my cousin’s hometown. I reserved three hotel rooms just to be sure we had enough space. My sister has asked to stay with us so she can save money, and of course I agreed. My husband and I decided to put my husband and one son (he’s 27) in one room, my sister and me in another, and the son and his girlfriend in the third. My son is 23, and the girlfriend is 20. They have been together for over a year. I am catching a lot of grief from my sister over this plan, as she does not approve of the son and girlfriend sharing a room. She said we were “horrible parents.” My son and his girlfriend didn’t necessarily expect to have a room of their own but were quite happy when I told them what my husband and I had decided. Our parents have passed away and my sister is all I have for immediate family, so I would like to keep the peace, but I am seething. We have a great relationship with both our adult sons, love them dearly, and also love our younger son’s girlfriend. Any advice for how to preserve the peace? — Anonymous | 
