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This is the weekly Work Life newsletter. If you are interested in more careers-related content, sign up to receive it in your inbox. Sent every Monday afternoon.
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It’s personal, it’s universal and according to Los Angeles-based serial entrepreneur Melissa Saleh, it can be transformative in affecting the way we show up in life and at work.
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It was more than a decade ago that Ms. Saleh received the news that her child’s heartbeat had suddenly stopped on the day they were supposed to be born.
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“It’s been 10 and a half years. I will remember that moment for the rest of my life,” she says.
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She recalls the time following that loss as “isolating” and “brutal,” but she had to go back to work and run a company.
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“To be honest, my company, for that first year, saved me, because I had something,” she says. “I had something that was mine, that I had created, that I could keep alive. It wasn’t my daughter, but it was something, and my work really gave me a reason to wake up.”
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At the time Ms. Saleh, who was also a former employment lawyer, was the founder of a company that helped startups launch digital platforms. She was hiring, doing payroll, handling client contracts and more.
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“I created this company and I wasn’t going to let that die too,” she says.
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This wasn’t the first time Ms. Saleh has experienced grief at work. Right before starting her company she had miscarried quietly in the bathroom at another job.
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She let the co-founders of the company know what had happened, but let them know that she was okay and would not be taking any time off.
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Two weeks later she was fired.
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“Clearly, things were just not going smoothly for me, but I was not going to stop working,” she says.
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That’s when Ms. Saleh started her company.
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It wasn’t just to feed her entrepreneurial spirit. She wanted a family, and she wanted a job where she could feel she was in control of her own destiny, and no one could fire her.
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It was after losing her child in the hospital that she realized no matter how she structured her work life – whether she was working for others or running the show – there were few people or companies that were equipped to deal with grief.
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“Fundamentally, the corporate capitalist system was not made for the messiness of human life,” she says. “During traumatic circumstances ... there’s this expectation to figure it out, get through it, join a Facebook group; but don’t bring it to work.”
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Ms. Saleh says that if companies could support grieving workers, both the company and the individual could come out stronger.
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She says that there is a narrative in the corporate world that a resilient, gritty person just gets up after being knocked down by grief.
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“I completely reject that, you don’t move on, you are changed forever. You must transcend and grow into the new version of you,” she says.
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She says that when people are given the time and resources to truly feel their feelings, and have a proper grieving process, they come out as a different person who approaches life and work differently – in a good way.
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“Healing and grieving can be almost as brutal as the loss, but suppression is what kills the growth,” she says.
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Next week, I’ll share more of Ms. Saleh’s story, how you can find empowerment in overcoming grief and what companies are doing – even if it’s small steps – to support this universal experience.
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According to hiring platform Greenhouse, between 18 and 22 per cent of the job postings on the site are ‘ghost listings’ – jobs posted with no intention of the company filling them. Why? Dead-end postings can help companies look like they are growing and allow them to amass more followers on social media or emails for mailing lists.
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